Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (the movie)
2010, Walt Disney Pictures. Directed by Mike Newel. Based on the video game. Running time: 1 hour 55 minutes. PG-13.
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley.
Mathew: Okay Helm, so here's a movie we went to see that's not based on a comic book.
Helm: Tis based on a video game, is it not?
Mathew: Well yeah, but so? It's not based on a comic. Last time you said all the movies we see are based on comics. And this one wasn't. So, you were wrong and you should admit it.
Helm: You are an idiot.
Mathew: Nice. Anyway, let's get down to the review. This is probably one of the best adaptations of a video game into a movie that I've ever seen which, I admit, isn't saying a whole lot. Most video game adaptations kind of blow. This one was pretty watchable though.
Helm: I am confused. Did you like it or not?
Mathew: I liked it enough, but it never truly got awesome.
Helm: Hmmm. Perhaps you were shamed by it.
Mathew: What? What are you talking about?
Helm: Let's see. We have a common man who comes into possession of a magical artifact that transforms his life and requires him to be a hero. So far, this reminds me of someone. But this hero is a fine physical specimen, is personally courageous and follows a strict code of honor. Plus, he is handsome. I can see why his example would shame you into disliking this film.
Mathew: I totally wasn't shamed at all. I just didn't think it was a great movie because the plot seems to meander, the writing wasn't all that tight and there wasn't a whole lot of substance to it.
Helm: Or perhaps it made you feel inadequate so, despite the fact that it was enjoyable, you hated it with a cold fire that still burns within your breast.
Mathew: It didn't make me feel inadequate, I didn't hate the movie and my breasts aren't burning. It was just kinda weak.
Helm: You are weak.
Mathew: I have no idea why I invite you to review movies with me.
Three Flaming Swords!!
Two Flaming Swords!!
Helm: And I am sure you are upset because the hero's love interest is both chaste and attractive.
Mathew: What? What is that supposed to mean?
Helm: I'm just saying that Jill is no princess Tamina.
Mathew: That's low, Helm