Wisdom of the Day: When engaged in a dangerous undertaking, always, always wear a helmet.
Past words and wisdom of the Helm:
Brains can sometimes outsmart brawn, brawn oft' batters in brains. The secret is to cultivate both. -February 13th
Before battle with vampires, wash with holy water. -February 12th
The end is nigh. 'Tis always nigh for someone. Just keep that in mind when deciding how to navigate thy day. -February 11th
Take a bath now and again. Poor hygiene hath destroyed more armies than all human foes combined. -February 10th
The battle is not lost until thy sword is broken, thy comrades fallen and thine own life's blood soaks the ground around thy shredded corpse. 'Til then, i'll hear nothing of failure. -February 9th
Despair is the heart of defeat. Do not give in, do not give up. -February 8th, 2010
Be ready. -February 7th
The vast bulk of villainous blackguards do not regret their evil choices until someone forces them to. -February 6th
Keep moving. -February 5th
Avoid slogging through water. There is always something lurking in it. -February 4th
Learn at least three forms of combat, at least one of them unarmed. -February 3rd
Do not just beat the odds, maim and kill them. -February 2nd
Do not believe everything that you believe. -February 1st
Quit thy bellyaching! -January 30th
The ingenuity of the mind lies in avoiding hardship to increase comfort. The ingenuity of the soul lies in using hardhsip to increase character. Often, the two are at cross purposes. -January 29th
Any strength, taken too far, becomes a weakness. -January 28th
The goal is not to conquer nature, but to understand her deeply enough that she serves thee willingly. -January 27th
War is most effectively enjoined by those who have mastered inner peace. -January 26th
Most enemies will instantly lose their composure and begin making critical mistakes in combat the moment even one of their eyes is gouged out. So, go for the eyes. -January 25th
All things being equal, 'tis best to dispatch thine opponents quickly and with mercy. All things being equal. -January 24th
The best way to deal with a wolf in sheep's clothing is to shear it. -January 23rd
Hew off the head. 'Tis a good way to ensure that the job is well and truly done. -January 22nd
Do not seek battle, but always defend the weak and let no challenge to goodness go unanswered.-January 21st, 2010
Cursing loudly makes the pain more bearable. -January 20th
Rub salt in thy wounds. 'Tis painful, but t'will make them heal faster. -January 19th
Do not brace for impact, rather relax for impact. T'will result in less overall damage. -January 18th
'Tis quite possible that thou art being watched. -January 17th
All things must come to an end. I have ended quite a number of things myself. -January 16th
Use thine enemy's strength against him...or her, I suppose. -January 15th
Do not dwell overmuch on the past lest ye begin to dwell in the past. -January 14th
To bring down the mighty, all that is required is one small weakness. -January 13th
Even if thou should fall in battle, there are still ankles that can be hewn from the ground. -January 12th
Fate? I prefer to believe the gods could not be so cruel. -January 11th
Rest, recuperate, plot thine next attack. -January 10th
Think not overmuch of thine accomplishments. Even Ozymandias had his buttocks kicked by time's relentless march. -January 9th
Sharp words, sharp cheese, a sharp sword-only one does real damage. React accordingly. -January 8th
The trick is not to see into the mind of thine enemy, but to drive thy sword into it. -January 7th
Evil has a smell. -January 6th
Thou art running out of time. -January 5th
The world is beautiful but fragile like glass. Evil is poised to shatter it at all times. -January 4th
Art thou living? Then what is there to complain of? -January 3rd
What is the worst that can happen? Let us start there in our planning. -January 2nd
Today is the day. -January 1st
Drink now! Drink and be merry! -December 31st
It never hurts to be cautious. -December 30th
Kick to the testes. -December 29th
Follow this order: approach, assess, attack. -December 28th
Peace and light are oft' purchased with blood and ruin. -December 27th
Cultivate no attachments. -December 26th
Sometimes there is naught for it but to go down swinging. -December 26th
Anger is good for the blood. -December 25th
There is little that requires as much effort or returns such great reward as being patient. -December 24th
Hound and harry thine enemies relentlessly. -December 23rd
Be generous with thy possessions, stingy with thy trust. -December 22nd
Be charitable to the man beside ye. He may have just saved mankind. But keep a close eye on him. He might as easily be a demon bent on the destruction of the world. -December 21st
Bother. -December 20th
Although not always appropriate, it can be highly gratifying to break things. -December 19th
True character is revealed, not by what men say, but by the choices they make under pressure. -December 18th
A friend in need is a liability...yet there is nothing for it but to help. This is why thou should closely limit thy circle of friends to only those thou wouldst give thy life for. Have as many acquaintances as thou would like.-December 17th
Oft evil cloaks itself in comely form to woo the virtuous and bring down the just. -December 16th
Be ever prepared to die. -December 15th
Curse meddlers and busybodies. -December 14th
An arrow through the eye will definitively end most arguments. -December 13th
Retreat when necessary. There is no shame in it. -December 12th
Pain is useful. -December 11th
Be thankful for the gift of fear, but remember, 'tis better to give than to receive. -December 10th
It may be a trap. -December 9th
Nothing is inevitable. -December 8th
Don't make excuses or apologies. -December 7th
The courageous, decisive and swift own the world. The wise care little for such posessions. -December 6th
The fastest way out of trouble is through it. -December 5th
Those who do not remember the past are doomed. But that is not unusual. So are those who remember the past. -December 4th
Strike attacking dogs on the neck or nose. Dogs' skulls are generally too thick for thy blows to cause useful damage. -December 3rd
Always be prepared for battle and always carry a weapon, even if only a walking stick or a rock. Also, go for the eyes. -December 2nd
Do it. Do it now. Thou knowest of what I speak. -December 1st
Peparation is the best defense against bad luck. 'Tis not a flawless defense, however. Luck is spectacular. -November 30th
Strike first, no questions necessary. -November 29th
Think not too much of thyself. Chances are thou art less than nothing in the grand scheme of things. -November 28th
Give thanks for all thou hast. No matter thy effort, none of it is earned. -November 27th
Pay thy debts promptly. -November 26th
Any thimblewit will fight when his back is up against the wall and there is no choice. The true warrior draws steel eager and early, only sheathing his blade in evil-doer entrails. -November 25th
Nothing is over until everything is over. -November 24th
Be open minded but skeptical. That is wisdom. -November 23rd
Focus. -November 22nd
Beat down the wicked. -November 21st
No man can escape death. This is not to say that it is impossible to escape death, only that to do so, thou must give up thy humanity. -November 20th
Now and then, even the Gods need a good arse kicking to remind them of the power of free will. -November 19th
Which is worse? To do evil or to allow it to be done. Well, idiot, to do evil is worse, but if thou allow evil to be done, I shall still descend upon thee like thunder and crush thy head as a rock crushes a nut. -November 18th
Courage is not fearlessness. Courage is being afraid and going forward anyway. -November 17th
Let nothing stop thee. Magic has far less power than the refusal to be stopped. -November 16th
Justice oft must be purchased with force, but force applied without justice is mere evil. -November 15th
The Gods think thou art ridiculous. Laugh with them or be destroyed. -November 14th
Nothing makes a man angrier than being justly accused of his own stupidity. -November 13th
Security is a fantasy. And a dangerous one at that. -November 12th
Do not think without acting. Do not act without thinking. -November 11th
Peace is a wonderful thing, but give me fire, thunder and earthquake. -November 10th
Words will not move mountains. Thou wilt need a large shovel. -November 9th
Avoid general goals--to be happy, to be powerful. Action requires specifics. -November 8th
7 and 42. Do not underestimate their power. -November 7th
Be honest with thyself. -November 6th
Wash thy hands frequently. In the blood of thine enemies. -November 5th
'Tis better to be right than liked. -November 4th
Those who scorn magic are oft destroyed by it. -November 3rd
Always keep the end in mind. -November 2nd
One good idea, seen through to its end, is far better than a thousand excellent notions explored but a little. -November 1st
Beware monsters disguised as humans. -October 31st
Always sleep with a weapon close to hand. -October 30th
Conflict is the heart of nature. Ignore or deny this at thy peril. -October 29th
Better to die with your head held high than live with it bowed. -October 28th
Show mercy. Do not expect it. -October 27th
Weak is the man who claims his successes and blames his failures on misfortune. -October 26th
'Tis easy to find fault. There is more than enough to go around. -October 25th
Study the past, plan for the future, live in the moment. This sounds easy but is eternally confounding. -October 24th
Meaning well is useless. Do well. -October 23rd
The world is largely filled with fools. They are an ungodly huge crowd. -October 22nd
Keep thine eyes always open and thy brain focused on seeing what is really around you rather than what you expect to see. -October 21st
It is better to deserve praise and not receive it than to receive praise and not deserve it. -October 20th
Moderation is only a virtue when there is a ready alternative. -October 19th
The work of years is destroyed in a moment. -October 18th
'Tis good to win. -October 17th
Pay heed to the reactions of animals. They often know the true lie of things before humans even begin to suspect. -October 16th
Adapt. -October 15th
Respect what thou dost not understand. -October 14th
Desperation may infuse a man's sword with deadly power, but cold skill and hard experience are the richer fuel. -October 13th
Cherish thine comrades as if they are already dead and gone. Their exit from this world will come to pass far too soon. -October 12th
First the work, then the play. -October 11th
Live lustily or not at all. -October 10th
There is no escaping death, so waste not thy time in pointless flight. Turn, charge, kick death hard in the collions! -October 9th
'Tis best to view everything as a potential weapon. Everything. -October 8th
Both parties are liable to sustain grievous injury in a knife fight. Best to strike fast, strike first and worry about niceties later. -October 7th
Not all battles need be fought with force. -October 6th
While 'tis true thou should not waste effort, 'tis also wise to ensure thine opponents are well and truly out of the fight. Overkill is a virtue. -October 5th
'Tis hard to recall in the thick of it, but when battling the undead, do not waste time trying to "kill" them. Dismemberment and fire. Dismemberment and fire. 'Tis an approach that works equally well with the living. -October 4th
Do not go out of thy way to keep the peace between friends. Let them fight it out quickly and settle the issue. -October 3rd
Never praise. Encourage. -October 2nd
Even the most complex knot can be cut with a sharp enough blade. -October 1st
Do not waiver and do not merely try. Do, or do not. 'Tis simple as that. -September 30th
Practice thy swordplay in full armor. -September 29th
When confronted by thine enemies, up and at them! Let not evil rest! -September 28th
Natural disasters will derail even the most meticulously laid plans. Keep this in mind. -September 27th
Craft an appropriate battle cry. 'Tis shameful to rush into combat sounding like a stumbletongued pettifogger. -September 26th
Trust the feeling that something is wrong. Something is almost always wrong. -September 25th
Be attentive to thy personal grooming. -September 24th
Choose carefully the moment to strike and thou needst only strike once. -September 23rd
Spend not thy gold before it is plundered. -September 22nd
No one knows anything. -September 21st
The best armor in the world will not save thee from drowning. -September 20th
Disabuse thyself of the notion that anything truly belongs to thee. -September 19th
Wash thy hands frequently. Nay, compulsively. -September 18th
Practice throwing thy knife every day. No exceptions. -September 17th
A seasoned warrior is a book of scars that tells the tale of his battles. -September 16th
Trust thy intuitions... Unless thou art one of those baffleweeds whose intuitions are always wrong. -September 15th
Keep forearm and hand aligned when throwing a punch. -September 14th
There is no such thing as a fair fight. -September 13th
Blood does not make a superior quenchant when forging a blade. -September 12th
Pay attention. Pay attention. Pay attention. -September 11th
To avoid falling asleep on watch, keep thy mind and body actively engaged. Do not huddle in thy cloak by the fire! Breathe the cold air, move about, whittle. -September 10th
Remember this; every part of thy sword is a weapon, not just the blade. -September 9th
When the distance to travel is daunting, focus on the individual steps. -September 8th
Keep thy feet shoulder width apart. Slide rather than step. Keep thy blade close when parrying. These simple things will save thy life. -September 7th
Do not pick at thy nose in public. 'Tis disgusting. -September 6th
If thou hast never had the food they call Cheetos, try them. I would recommend these edible orange sticks to the gods themselves. -September 5th
The higher one climbs, the farther one has to fall. So do not slip, imbecile! -September 4th
Rejoice, mortal, for the glorious death you may yet achieve! -September 3rd
It becomes more and more tempting, as things spiral further and further out of control, to simply let them. Do not. -September 2nd
All men are liars. -September 1st
Eat meat. -August 31st
Fear grows the more it is fed. Starve it. -August 30th
'Tis very important to stay grounded. Especially when dealing with electricity. -August 29th
Fight fire with water. -August 28th
Plan ahead, improvise in the moment. -August 27th
Too much power ruins any man. -August 26th
Horrors, like wonders, never cease. -August 25th
Practice holding thy breath as long as possible. Increased lung capacity is always useful. -August 24th
Elbow to the solar plexus, finger tips to the groin, back of the knuckles to the bridge of the nose. -August 23rd
Model the behaviors that thou wish to elicit.-August 22nd
Be clean and orderly. -August 21st
Do what thou sayest thou wilt. -August 20th
Watch out for crows. They are considerably smarter than they are given credit for. -August 19th
Grab evil by the testicles and squeeze. Squeeze until its potential to reproduce is gone. -August 18th
Pack extra underclothes. -August 17th
The tragedy of a man is his inability to reconcile the immense impact of his actions with his utter unimportance. -August 16th
Learn the languages of others. -August 15th
There is no problem that obsessive worry cannot worsen. -August 14th
If thine arm is pinioned when battling a giant clam, do not struggle and waste thy breath. Reach back toward the upper left or right side (which ever the closest be) until thy hand touches the adductor muscle. Grasp this muscle firmly and the shell will open. -August 13th
Remain calm. -August 12th
Keep thy teeth clean. A hero may die of an abscessed tooth as readily as the most craven fool. -August 11th
Learn the art of knot tying. A good knot will certainly save thy life. -August 10th
Flexibility of body and mind is more useful than the finest armor...for the most part. -August 9th
While it has been said that the sting of a giant jellyfish may be muted with fresh urine, this is not true. The damaging effects of the venom of the jellyfish may, indeed, be moderated by urine, if the urine is acidic (rather than alkaline), although vinegar is better for this purpose. Alkaline urine will actually make the problem considerably worse. And either variety of urine will, in no wise, decrease the pain. -August 8th
Visit the sea. 'Tis both humbling and inspiring. -August 7th
Four hours of sleep is more than sufficient. Rise! Thy glory fades by the second. -August 6th
Maintain thy freedom at all cost, but exercise it judiciously. -August 5th
Be self sufficient. Rely not on others. -August 4th
When battling dragons, go for the eyes and inside of the mouth. The armor is too hard to penetrate. Oh, and bring a fireproof cloak if one is ready to hand. -August 3rd
Be prepared for the things that can fail to fail. Especially thy courage. -August 2nd
If it looks like a pig, and smells like a pig, 'tis most likely a pig. -August 1st,
The greatest driver of human behavior is the quest for meaning. Unfortunately, because finding meaning is so difficult, many men settle for accumulating gold. -July 31st
There is no substitute for hard work to deliver the day. -July 30th
Keep thy troubles to thyself, blubbering prisspot. -July 29th
Tend to thy wounds quickly and with care. 'Tis shameful to lose a limb from the rot. -July 28th
In truth, thou cans't control nothing in life but thine own thoughts, and even these may prove difficult. -July 27th
Share not thy goals until they be achieved. -July 26th
Trust in no one. Always be at the ready. -July 25th
When battling a lich, remember, 'tis not enough to kill the physical body. The receptacle of the soul must be found and destroyed as well. This is of't easier said than accomplished. -July 24th
Eat blueberries. -July 23rd
Keep at it until thou art done. -July 22nd
When adventuring in the field, keep thy feet dry. -July 21st
When fighting a serpent barehanded, grab the beast by the end of the tail and crack it as thou would a whip. If the snake is too long, thick or heavy for this approach, especially if it is venomous, I will wager no money on thy odds. -July 20th
Do not forget to exercise thy brain as well as thy muscles. -July 19th
'Tis awe inspiring the damage that can be done in a second's carelessness. -July 18th
Bite off more than thou cans't chew. Swallow whole. -July 17th
When thrown forward from the saddle, resist the urge to throw up thy arms to break thy momentum. Thou wilt only break thy collarbones. Instead, tuck chin to chest and roll. 'Tis devlish hard to remember, but well worth the effort. -July 16th
'Tis not glamorous, but mind thy diet. The body is a furnace that burns brightest when the fuel is of highest quality. -July 15th
Avoid hand to hand combat with chimpanzees. Their arm strength is prodigious. -July 14th
Put not overmuch stock in omens and portents. Some, but not overmuch. -July 13th
Make no vow thou cannot keep. -July 12th
Put as much thought into thine choice of sword as thou would into the choice of a spouse. The sword is likely to be at thy side more regularly. -July 11th
Always keep well hydrated. -July 10th
'Tis easier to stay atop thy task now than to play at catch up later. -July 9th
A flat handed blow to the ear can effectively disrupt thy opponent's balance for crucial moments. -July 8th
Goblins greatly dislike the juice of the onion. It burns their skin and it has a smell they cannot tolerate. -July 7th
To know thy limits, thou must exceed them. -July 6th
Pain is valuable. -July 5th
Roll with the fall, do not brace against it. -July 4th
It is ungodly difficult, but well worth the effort, to train thyself to fight well with either hand. -July 3rd
Since thou must one day die, choose at least to die well. -July 2nd
Anything that is not ruined by excess is not real. -July 1st
The finest sword, in untrained hands, is a liability. -June 30th
When the first twinges of age touch thy bones, seek combat at every opportunity. At the least, the increased exertion will do thee good. At best, thou wilt find a glorious death before becoming a doddering graybeard. -June 29th
Keeping clear of temptation is much easier than resisting it. -June 28th
Do not carry a grudge over a minor slight, but always relentlessly hound evil doers to their very graves. -June 27th
Brook no intentional disrespect from any man. And 'tis best to assume that all disrespect is intentional. -June 26th
Do not overcomplicate thy plans, thy situation or thy life. Simplicity. Always simplicity. -June 25th
A good dog is to be prized above gold. -June 24th
If the Gods intended man to fly--BAH!! Give not a fig for what the Gods intend but wrest from them what thou canst. Apparently, they were none too keen on man gaining fire either. Ask Prometheus. -June 23rd
Inattention to the smallest of details oft brings down the greatest of men. -June 22nd
Be ever aware of the nearest exit. -June 21st
Beware women who seem unduly attracted to thee. 'Tis a certainty they are up to no good. -June 20th
If there is even the faintest indication that a seemingly priceless item may be cursed, leave it alone. Do not even lay a finger upon it. -June 19th
Steer clear of prophecies all together. There is naught to be gained in learning of them and much to be lost. Trust me on this. -June 18th
When choosing thy portion of plundered treasure, concentrate on precious gems. Gold is ungodly heavy and 'twill slow thee down disproportionate to its value. A handful of diamonds or rubies is much more valuable and readily portable. -June 17th
Sadly, much of life is loss. Take nothing as a given, take no one for granted. -June 16th
Dance! Dance with abandon! Dance intoxicates the soul. -June 16th
'Tis best to kill the undead from a distance. They are a foul lot for close combat. -June 15th
Make do. -June 14th
Mistakes are invaluable tools of growth--so be prepared to pay dearly for them. -June 13th
Giant spiders hate fire. -June 12th
Once made, thou cannot take back thy dunderheaded mistakes. -June 11th
Life is an offer. -June 10th
If thou art right, never back down. But what makes thee think thou art right? -June 9th
Use force. -June 8th
Let not a day pass without breaking a sweat. Effort is good for both body and soul. -June 7th
There is no shame in running from an explosion. Only shame in not running fast enough. -June 6th
If thou dost know thou wilt soon pass from light into darkness, close one eye. Once inside the dark, close the open eye and open the closed eye. 'Twill have adjusted and thou wilt not be left blinking whilst goblins slash thy belly. -June 5th
If thou dost encounter an evil artifact - a dread blade, a monkey's paw, a ring of power - destroy it immediately. Immediately. 'Tis always trouble otherwise. -June 4th
To laugh in the face of death is quite satisfying. Death hates that. -June 3rd, 2009
If thy cause is just and thy enemy large, declare thyself and strike. The first to strike often carries the day. -June 2nd
What thou dost not know can easily eviscerate thee while thy back is turned. So know everything. -June 1st
Shout while striking. 'Twill increase the force of the blow. -May 31st
Trouble Sleeping? A hard day's labor in the open air will put thee right. -May 30th
Every man hath his failings. 'Tis more than abundantly clear. But in no wise does this knowledge justify nor forgive persistence in error. On apprehending a fault or flaw, work tirelessly toward its correction. Be a proper man, not a wastrel nor a jackass. -May 29th
Always carry a back-up weapon. Always. -May 28th
An effective way to see into the mind of thine enemy is to hew off the top of his head just at the eyebrows. -May 27th
Before seeking the power to control others, first seek to control thyself. -May 26th
Be always on guard. Many a fair form conceals a foul nature. -May 25th
When all seems fair and going smoothly, look about thee! Mayhap the snare is already sprung! -May 24th
Make a good first impression and there will be no need for a second blow. I recommend a studded mace or morning star. -May 23rd
Slow and steady can lose the day. Charge now, with everything! -May 22nd
Sadness too is a part of life. -May 21st
. . . . -May 20th
Although 'tis said that love is stronger than fear, fear often has a considerably more immediate, palpable effect. -May 19th
Endeavor not to lie. At least not overmuch. -May 18th
Lay thee not down in thine own grave, sword undrawn. Fight, damn thee, fight! -May 17th
Do not be small, 'tis unbecoming. -May 16th
Keep thy wits about thee. -May 15th
Never assume thou art the author of thy success. Thou art merely a character. Random chance, brutal destiny and fickle gods conspire to write the tale in which we all act. -May 14th
Battle is a most fearsome and terrible joy. -May 13th
The best men couple great mental flexibility with a rigid moral code. The worst do the opposite. -May 12th
'Tis pointless to worry. Do what can be done and let the rest hang. -May 11th
All of life is a gamble, so make thy wagers shrewdly and let the dice fall as they will. -May 10th
Do not trumpet overmuch thine own accomplishments. The gods enjoy nothing so much as laying braggarts low. -May 9th
Often the most expedient way to change a man's mind is simply to bash in his skull. -May 8th
The free things are always the most dearly purchased: freedom, honor, justice, love. -May 7th
Try until thou cannot. Live until thou diest. -May 6th
Conflict is the heart of growth. -May 5th
Anger is like fire, useful but dangerous. Do not kindle it within thy home but hesitate not to blast it down upon thy shrieking enemies like the molten rage of the gods. -May 4th
Simple pleasures are the best. The buttery scent of fresh baked bread, the sweet taste of a crisp apple, the warm spray of an enemy's blood across thy face. -May 3rd
A man enters the world amidst screaming and blood and, the gods willing, exits in a similar fashion. -May 2nd
A square peg can fit a round hole if thou hast the need and a sufficiently large hammer. -May 1st
Do not trouble yourself overmuch with trifles. -April 30th
A name, uttered within the proper incantation, can wreak far more havoc than the most fearsome sticks or stones. -April 29th
The pen is mightier than the sword, but how will thou hold thy pen with both arms hacked off at the shoulder? -April 28th
Wash in ice cold water. It inspires the appetite, builds character and invigorates the soul. -April 27th
Keep about thee only the minimum necessary for survival--ideally only what thou cans't carry on thy person. Excess possessions are the worst form of liability--bad for the body as well as the soul. -April 26th
Only the truly stupid have no fear. -April 25th
'Tis not enough merely to face thy fears. Thou must seize fears by their ears, bite off their noses and head-butt them until their brains are as pudding. -April 24th
No half measures. Throw the dice! Attack with everything! -April 23rd
The mark any man leaves on history is as a belch in a hurricane. So make thy every belch a roar! -April 22nd
Even the most perceptive can be blind to their own flaws. Especially the most perceptive. Vainglorious jackanapes! -April 21th
If thy sword breaks, strike with thy shield. -April 20th
The straight arrow sinks deepest. -April 19th
Do not be stupid. At least, try not to be. -April 18th
Whatever good or evil thou do in this world know that, one day, the gods will pay thee back in kind. -April 17th
Never assume that thou art doomed to be forever what thou art at this moment. Change is the essence of life. Improve! Begin this instant! -April 16th
Feast, revel, laugh. Thy time is short and growing shorter. -April 15th
Let not thy head swell so far as to believe thou art the author of thine own success. Bumbling foozlers are oft exalted by queer circumstance and great men as oft' ruined by blind misfortune. -April 14th
Do not rely on luck or circumstance to deliver thee in thy moment of need. -April 13th
Thou cannot fight thy destiny. But be not such an ass as to believe thou knowest what it is. -April 12th
Sing. -April 11th
'Tis pointless to rail against what has already happened. Now, what will thou do about it? -April 10th
Be not a quibbler! 'Tis both annoying and unbecoming. -April 9th
Righteousness and superiority are excellent qualities in a person. Both are more survivable when coupled with a well-crafted breastplate or chainmail shirt and a serviceable shield. -April 8th
Nothing encourages humility half so well as a swift, unexpected kick in the buttocks. -April 7th
Even the best of men benefit from an occasional drubbing. -April 6th
Destiny is a cruel brute. -April 5th
Freedom and safety are not bosom fellows. -April 4th
Set thy mind to learning, from others, from books and from the world. Do this lest ye be a duddering baffleweed! -April 3rd
Spring gladdens the heart, maddens the brain and generally makes fools of otherwise rational beings. -April 2nd
At all times, keep thine eyes, ears and especially thy mind open, but keep thy mouth shut.-April 1st
Give not a fig for fashion, although a handsome half-cloak can be both stylish and useful for fouling an enemy's thrust. -March 31st
Do what must be done, though it destroy thee. -March 30th
No excuses, no delays. Rise fustilugs! Get about thy business! -March 29th
Romantic love! BAH! 'Tis a most dire peril. It blinds a man, befuddles his brain and renders him a fool. To seek it is the highest folly. -March 28th
There is at least as much good as there is evil in this world, though it is, in general, put to far less frequent and effective use. -March 27th
Make not excuses. The strong have no need of them and the weak they will not help. -March 26th
Always go for the heart! 'Tis equally sound advice when trying to persuade or engaged in mortal combat. -March 25th
There is no surer sign of a tiny, feeble mind, than inattention! -March 24th
THINK! Or at the very least, think slightly more often! -March 23rd
Good character is the result of some good sense, some good nature and much self denial. -March 22nd
Above all things, and upon all occasions, avoid speaking of thyself, if it be possible. -March 21st
Apparently, trans fats, although deadly, are delicious. Is this not always the way of things? -March 20th
Nature is neither mother nor servant. She most resembles a mate; by turns loving and contentions, nurturing and savage, lovely and harsh.-March 19th
True wisdom is always purchased dear. Ask Odin's empty eye socket. -March 18th
'Tis better to give than receive. Particularly in relation to death blows. -March 17th
A place for everything and everything in its place. Thy place is in a hole in the ground.-March 16th
No plan is foolproof. Fools are far too ingenious. -March 15th
Of all the monsters who stalk the darkness, the most deadly is man. -March 14th
Light a candle AND curse the darkness. Stinking darkness... -March 13th
The things most worth having are generally most dearly purchased. -March 12th
Do not give advice. -March 11th
Recorded music, played at massive volume! A wonder of unparalleled dimension! -March 10th
Strike first, parley after. -March 9th
As a general rule, hold thy tongue.-March 8th
Never yield. Even thy last breath may yet purchase victory. -March 7th
A man with nothing to die for has little to live for. -March 6th
Seize the day. Seize it by the throat. Crush its larnyx. -March 5th
Put less stock in a man's oath than in the wind he lets fly from his breeches. While both are readily broken and merely hot air, the fart is at least an honest expression. -March 4th
An ounce of prevention weighs more than thy brain. -March 3rd
I do not know why common sense is so named. Sense is anything but common. The vast bulk of men are blithering idiots.-March 2nd
A real lashing is often far superior in satisfaction and result to a mere tongue lashing.-March 1st
Smile...when thou cannot strike. -February 28th
Thou hast dug thine grave, now lie in it. -February 27th
Show no fear, especially when thou dost feel it. 'Tis an infantile milksop dost soil his canions in the face of danger. -February 26th
'Tis a layabout, an addlepate or a cur who knows not the difference between the impossible and the merely difficult. -February 25th
Self love draws a thick veil between a man and his flaws. -February 24th
Every man, no matter how lowly, has some use...even if only as an unwilling shield.-February 23rd
In all things, hope for the best but keep thy sword sharp and ready to hand. -February 22nd
The most complex incantation, perfectly recited, hath not the power to make even the finest donkey a man, yet scant few words, poorly chosen, can make any man a perfect ass. -February 21st
Thine opinion is like the crack betwixt thine buttocks--the louder ye sound it, the more I am affronted. -February 20th
Shut thine blowhole, focus thine miniscule attentions and DRIVE THINE ACCURSED VEHICLE!! -February 19th
Cease whining and take action, blatherskite! 'Tis always good counsel.-February 18th
Waste no time in dawdle or dalliance! Neither twee nor mincing be! -February 17th
Violence never solved anything...but it has settled much. -February 16th
Sparing use of words, liberal use of the blade...the wisdom of heroes. -February 15th