REVIEW:
It Follows
5 flamers
2015 Radius TWC. Directed by David Robert Mitchell. Running time: 100 minutes. R. Starring: Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Lili Sepe, Daniel Zovatto
Helm: I can hardly believe you were brave enough to watch this movie.
Mathew: I know! Scary, right?
Helm: That was not precisely my point, but yes. I found it quite chilling.
Mathew: It was great! Smart, terrifying and thoughful without falling back on cheap shocks or excessive gore.
Helm: Yes. It actually reminded me of many encounters with the supernatural that you and I have had.
Mathew: Absolutely! It's such a simple premise, but executed so well. I was really scared in a number of places.
Helm: Some of them even in the theater. But I agree. One would think the writer/director had actually experienced a brush with some relentless evil himself.
Mathew: Dude. Why do you always have to make these reviews about insulting me?
Helm: I am sorry, but you make it so easy that it is near impossible not to take the opportunities you so generously provide.
Mathew: Whatever. Can we get back to the review?
Helm: Certainly. Of the many horror movies you have subjected me to, this was one of the more ingenious. It takes one of the very common themes of the genre--
Mathew: The idea that teens who have sex are basically begging for evil stuff to happen to them--
Helm: Yes, that--and it spins it in a very different and original way that breathes new life into the whole concept and makes it--
Mathew: SUPER AWESOME!
Helm: Well, I was going to say that it makes it a less obvious but very compelling metaphor for a concern many teens have these days in regard to engaging in sexual congress.
Mathew: Engaging in sexual congress? Sometimes I forget that you're like a thousand years old or something. But then you remind me.
Helm: I am considerably more than a thousand years old, fool.
Mathew: You're the fool.
Helm: Simply repeating my insult is not an adequate comeback.
Mathew: Is too.
Helm: No. It is not.
Mathew: Is too.
Helm: Sigh.
Mathew: Anyway, good movie. And it's not by a major studio or anything, so you should all rush out to see it in order to support indie film makers and stuff.
Five Flaming Swords!!
Five Flaming Swords!!
Helm: So, did the evil being remind you of that thing we battled in Texas a few months back?
Mathew: Totally! Especially the way it could--
Helm: HUSH! Do not give anything away, spoiler.
Mathew: I'm not the spoiler. You're the spoiler.
Helm: YOU are the spoiler.
Mathew: I know you are, but what am I?
Helm: We are finished here.