KICK ASS (the movie)
2010, Lionsgate. Written and directed by Matthew Vaughn.
Based on the comic by Mark Millar & John Romita Jr.
Running time: 1 hour 57 minutes. Rated R.
Mathew: So, we went and saw Kick Ass, and it kicked ass! It's the story of a teenage kid who decides to try being a superhero. If you're thinking it's going to be a high-spirited, lighthearted, Disney-eque romp, don't. Much violence and dark hilarity ensue.
This movie totally rocks! It differs in some significant ways from the comic series on which it's based, but it all hangs together well, delivers a lot of laughs and a lot of excitement.
Helm: For once, I must agree. Rush out and see this movie immediately.
Mathew: Well now, Helm, the movie is great, but it's not for everyone. I could see how folks who get disturbed watching teenagers get stabbed and beat senseless while foul mouthed eleven-year-olds slice and dice dozens of bad guys could find this movie objectionable.
Helm: I'm afraid you have lost me. There is nothing disturbing or inappropriate about this movie. It simply rules.
Mathew: What about that thing where the little girl gets punched repeatedly in the face by the grown-ass man? Or that bit with the industrial microwave? Or the car crusher?
Helm: She deserved that beating for her lack of forethought. It was completely appropriate and actually could impart a valuable lesson to the youth of today. Children, take care when planning your attacks lest ye suffer the consequences.
Mathew: Okay, whatever, Helm. Anyway, Kick Ass is awesome. Great pacing, great performances, great music. I laughed, I cried, I nearly puked. Let's rate it, Helm!
Four out of five Flaming Swords!!
Five out of five Flaming Swords!!
Mathew: Only four out of five flamers, Helm? What's biting your butt? I thought we agreed that this movie kicked ass! We already saw it twice!
Helm: Sycophantic lickspittle! Five flaming swords are reserved for absolutely flawless works of God-like genius that stun the audience on every level. Kick Ass is great, but not quite that great.