HelmKingsman PosterMathew

Kingsman: The Secret Service
Five Flamers5 flamers

2015 20th Century Fox/Marv. Directed by Matthew Vaughn. Running time: 129 minutes. R. Starring: Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Samuel L. Jackson, Sofia Boutella, Michael Caine

Helm: This was a good and rousing movie!

Mathew: YES!

Helm: We are in 100% agreement. Oddly.

Mathew: There's nothing odd about it. This movie rocked and we both rock enough that we can put our personal differences aside and admit it.

Helm: While I might dispute the degree to which you "rock", I will not dispute that this was an excellent film.

Mathew: You can't dispute how much I rock, because I rock like a rock god. And of course you can't dispute the movie. Great action, great characters, great plot, great fight scenes, great acting, great direction! Just great all around!

Helm: Unlike you, it was great. Although the marketing was somewhat off.

Mathew: Yeah. I agree with that.

Helm: Of course, you agree with that. There is no disputing that you are a flouncing ninnyhammer.

Mathew: Not with that part. I agree with the part about the marketing, not the part about me not being great.

Helm: I agree.

Mathew: Good. Wait... With what?

Helm: Quiet. I am reviewing the film. Based on the trailer, I thought this was going to be a parody of spy films, when, in actuality, it was a first rate spy film in its own right. The secret organization was believable, the villain was well rounded and well conceived. It was a tight, solid spy movie.

Mathew: That's what I thought too. Although, even though I thought it was a good spy film, it was pretty funny too.

Helm: Yes. It was quite amusing.

Mathew: I loved the whole thing. It made me happy to watch it.

Helm: While I greatly enjoyed it, it did make me a touch sad.

Mathew: Why?

Helm: Well, I got to see a diamond in the rough, polished to a high sheen. An unlikely everyman transformed into a gentleman and a true hero.

Mathew: Here it comes.

Helm: It provided a moment of relief from my feelings of failure where you are concerned.

Mathew: We're done here.

Helm: Sigh.

Mathew: You are such a jerk!

helmFive FlamersFive Flaming Swords!!

mathewFive FlamersFive Flaming Swords!!

Helm: Sigh.

Mathew: Oh, shut up already!