HelmYour HighnessMathew

Your Highness
FourAndAQuarterFlamers3.25 flamers

2011, Universal Pictures. Directed by David Gordon Green. Running time: 102 minutes. R. Starring: Danny McBride, James Franco, Natalie Portman and Zooey Deschanel.

Mathew: This is some funny stuff!

Helm: There was nothing at all funny about this film. It was like being on an adventure with you.

Mathew: Okay, first, harsh. Second, what about that bit with the trophy from the Minotaur?

Helm: That was not funny. It was crass and juvenile.

Mathew: Which is funny. What about that bit with that guy with the fingers?

Helm: A terrible villain and a dire situation. I saw little humor in it.

Mathew: But he was so...effeminate and ...FAT! And there were all those topless women!

Helm: You are effeminate and fat and you look like a woman when you are topless. There is nothing funny about it. It is nauseating.

Mathew: Come on! I heard you laughing when the Danny McBride character was whining about having to go on a quest because he thought he was probably going to get killed. That was funny.

Helm: I was simply remembering you whining about having to go on a diet and how you thought that was going to kill you. Then I imagined that you had actually died and it brought me a slight chuckle.

Mathew: Really nice, Helm. But hey, what about the main bad guy, Leezar? There was some really funny stuff with him.

Helm: Evil is never funny. I see little humor in kidnapping a woman and holding her against her will in order to blanket the world in darkness.

Mathew: What about when he was having that discussion her while they were looking at those little fairy creatures and Leezar is talking about his hand? And his... you know...

Helm:

Mathew: I've got you there, don't I? That was some funny stuff.

Helm: It was somewhat amusing.

Mathew: Oh, lighten up! It was funny. I know you thought it was funny!

helmTwo FlamersTwo Flaming Swords!!

mathewFour and a Half FlamersFour and a half Flaming Swords!!

Helm: I should advise you to do the opposite of lightening up, but you are too heavy already.

Mathew: Great. Way to end on a down note. Thanks a lot.

THE FLAMING SWORD ARCHIVES